No matter how fun it seemed the night before you will always regret taking those pictures, you will always regret eating as much as you did, but you will never regret the great lengths you had to got to get those bruises.
Apparently I climbed into a dryer last night and refused to leave... There are pictures to prove it
We agreed to not shave eyebrows when someone is passed out. douchebag.
She literally called herself a shamefully bad decision. Of course I slept with her. Best bad decision ever
Jerry just sent me this: IOR GHIT ALL THE BUTTIB. Go get him. Now.
i'm surprised you didn't wake up. like i literally came when he was fingering me as i was spooning with you and all you did was mumble "that's a good idea, mom" and pull the sheets away from me.
He also informed us that it's rude to shove your tit in someone's mouth. Happy Monday.
I'm going to pound you from behind over a table at the bar while I pull your hair and call you a whore...please pass along that message to Rob
Well i think matt shit his pants so ill mark that as a W
Go big or go home. Or get a live in house boy you met 7 years ago and feel like you have unfullfilled potential. You know, the usual
Forgot to tell you--the bartender at Crowbar set his arm on fire last night. He was doing this "Cocktail" bartender trick of pouring alcohol that was on fire between glasses. Then some leaked out, onto his arm, and set his arm on fire, then his shirt. Exciting! (And he's ok).
Um ... did I have a lizard on my shoulder last night at the bar?
I was alternating between saying "yall need Jesus" and "God bless" the entire night
admittedly, geting that drunk in front of my last two exes wasnt a good idea
probably didn't help that you cheated on them with each other either
just saw a kid waiting at the door of the stairs for the elevator. there is no elevator in this building. get on his level.
Randomize
