dude i'm inner monologue high
you sang the finger bang song from south park while fingering me. needless to say, kind of a turn off.
In the middle of fucking me, she said "Hold on, I need my Hulk hands."
It's been 5 months since I last wore a condom.
Not including when spray tanning
So like 5 seconds in I realize I knew him in 3rd grade and I went limp in his mouth. It felt like I just murdered the last unicorn ever. Going straight never felt like an option till now.
I may have to steal the boat sober, but I feel that would be harder to explain.
We're listening to space jam. This can only be a good omen.
You know its going to be a good day when you have to brush your teeth out of a cup in your room using the vodka and water mixture in your fridge because you're locked out of your restroom
also dude totally apologize for the whole drunken "want something in my mouth" text
I wish the guy I was sleeping with wasn't on house arrest.
We got high and watched Winnie the Pooh. Isn't that what every normal person does on their break?
I just got nudes while talking in the third person. Not sure if I Should be proud or ashamed.
I just used the proceeds from selling my ex's engagement ring to fund my first date with another girl.
I'm glad you found someone that both loves you and is cool doing coke off your tits. Proud of you.
this is the fourth time i've taken my clothes off for money this year. is that normal for the average college sophomore?
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