its good for cellulite if you don't wear underwear. its true
doooooooo herrrrrrrrr
I'm out of practice. be my yoda
put your penis in her you must.
Some kid in my class just puked in his backpack, zipped up the backpack, put the backpack on and walked out the door.
booty call hours are between 1:30-3:00 AM thurs-sat with the exception of major drinking holidays and election days. please try again
I stole so many things from the ER last night.
I'm wearing a shirt that says "birthday girls #1 homo" ...what has my life come to?
Trick or treaters just rang our doorbell
Give them the moldy beer cans, we need to get rid of those
On another note, why did I wake up wrapped in bubble wrap. I can only assume it was for my own safety
Tequila Tuesdays need to not carry on throughout the week. Having a sad Saturday
I'll ask around, all of my friends have girlfriends now for the most part though so they're all dead inside
He's like a fucking cake pop, the greatest thing in the world while it lasts, but it never lasts for long enough
I think I was just recruited to join a religious lesbian cult by these 3 really pretty girls and I'm tempted to join
I'm just glad you didn't end up in Staten Island
I woke up naked holding a taco. My ass couldn't even make it to my bed let alone Staten Island
Did you guys just have three hour sex? You both stopped and restarted texting me at the same time
If I were to say yes, would we still be friends?
the raccoons are back...
Randomize
