Aj just asked if we were going to the bulldog tonight..i told her no because of the expense and tests coming up..but mostly because i don't want herpes
My moms helping me unpack but im getting a little nervous because I dont remember where i put my dildo
you were fixing your hair in the bathroom mirror and then fell backwards through the locked stall while she was in mid pee and fell on her lap.
I don't know what's worse: going to the liquor store at 9am or knowing that its open at 9am
after last halloween when i met that 26yr old guy from russia who was hot until we madeout and he became obsessed with touching my forehead after the ecstasy he did and then tried to sell me pills from an m&m mini container, i think im staying away from parties downtown
You know we had a good night last night when today I opened up my Google Translate application and the language is set to Persian and the phrase to translate is "I want you to suck my dick".
In anticipation of No Judgement Tuesday, I believe a Can We LOL At What We Did Last Night Saturday is in order
I'm gonna go drown myself in the shower. Make sure to cover me up before the paramedics arrive. I'm too fat to be seen naked right now.
I've been smelling a baby wipe for three minutes. I didn't think I was that drunk but I guess I am
I was stumbling so much, men walking behind us were shouting "don't hit the pole! don't hit the pole!" whenever I was near a telephone pole.
I SHIT YOU NOT a mailman helped me leave without waking him up.
Ways to ruin a one night stand: the guy finds your parenting magazine on your dorm room desk.
Ps I think male models just broke down outside or maybe gay German sex travelers
My diet has been 80% Fun Dip this week, soooo, no. Not good.
Im wearing black today mourning the orgasm i couldn't get this morning :(
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