I'm not high anymore, I decide when it's done.
took shots out of a medicine cup. i can get used to college.
can you buy anything in the cafeteria for less than $2? I spent the last of my laundry money on a chia pet
You have more facebook pictures than most towns have people.
The plants looked thirsty. Growing plants need mimosas too.
sometimes you have to go after what you want
true. and i really want to cum
i'm gonna start fucking more girls with asthma. help feed my ego.
i didnt think "maybe you should take over" was a good thing to say when i couldnt get it up
Her throat is strong enough to gargle peanut butter. I'm sure you were satisfied.
How do I go about this? "Hey, its my birthday in 40 minutes. Would you like to come over for some sex? Also, please bring snacks"?
I'm just going to take the mature adult root and ignore him for a bit, and then pretend like I didn't see him jerking off.
I woke up at 3:30 this morning to pee. Luckily, I didn't have to travel far as I was asleep in my CLOSET on my yoga mat. Good news is I had a pillow...
I didn't want to fight, I just wanted to tell you to fuckoff.
I’m literally lecturing this class on professionalism, while my body is undoubtably covered in leftover cum from last night. I’m a fucking role model.
you have to get here a cop came into the bar and she looks like Sarah Palin. I think I'm gonna try and bang her
Randomize
