Sweet. Might not hurt to poop on the floor anyway.
BIGGER SANDWIJH COME NIW OR DIE
I was in a house full of lesbians and they were all staring at me. I felt like the last cresent roll on Thanksgiving.
Thanks for buying me a sippy cup, its so pretty and everyone keeps telling me its probably the best gift anyone could have given me
You get drunk and try to bury your girlfriend in the sand JUST ONCE and all hell breaks loose
Correct me if I'm wrong, but did you let me pee in the grass while barking? And also, how many of you have videos?
I have a vague memory of you tryin to ride a unicycle through jimmy johns
Two women at the Safeway just got out of their separate cars and kissed. One was driving an outback, the other a CRV. It was like a Honda and Subaru had a lesbian joint venture and filmed the commercial in front of me.
I only have one kid whom I wish to hit in the face with an active jackhammer. How's work?
If I just skip sleeping, does hangover still happen? Gonna try it. Will report back. StTAND BY
Current state of being: shivering like a new born kitten on the bathroom floor
Sensing a theme here
If alcoholism is a theme, yes.
I just my had my first cup of coffee in a week. I think I might orgasm.
Access to a Target is paramount to my general happiness and self-worth.
I dont know which is weirder.. the fact that i just watched our mom kick ass at beer pong and ride the pole like a true fire girl or the fact that ive never felt closer to her in my life.
Randomize
