Its not alright that i make out with a manican.
I found out 2day that my dad was a stripper in New Oleans.
If he comes back to you and I'm left alone in lonelytown I'm totally going to poo on your car.
Some kid in my class just puked in his backpack, zipped up the backpack, put the backpack on and walked out the door.
Peanut butter while high is kinda stressful
This girl named her kid Rainforrest. If I die, just know it was from laughing so fucking hard.
You took a bag of frozen peas to bed wiith you "to help with the inflamation".
Thanks for not waking me up before the firefighters chopped down my door
Do any of you want to be on a three way call with me while this girl masturbates in 10 min? You can't talk
do you know where my other puke covered boot is
Stoned, and eating Doritos, and reading about lesbians for class. This is the life.
I need an inhaler full of pot for all of this breathless rage.
How do we have all these hot friends who we never do body shots off of
i survived drinking for 24 hours, an 8 ball of cocaine and a threesome. I think you can handle moving.
Waxing your own asshole is awkward and difficult at best.
Randomize
