Ok just saw a girl open a pillbox, dump it out on her notebook and count out 13 adderall tabs and put them in a baggie and leave. Oh hey college.
this episode of spongebob makes me wish crabby patties were real
thanks for carrying me to bed.. and sorry for trying to roll down the hallway to escape.
All I really need to know is how to say "where is the bathroom" and "I don't take it in the butt anymore". I think that will suffice.
4pm update. Theres smashed cake inside my duffel bag, a vodka bottle in the dish drainer, and the most productive thing ive done is make 40 pigs in a blanket
He told me I was 100% better then porn then passed out nto the cake
The smell came through my closed door. His farts are made of rendered tires, and apparently, ghosts.
Worst walk of shame man. They had a fire drill at 7am, had to walk out of her all girl dorm wearing my Everday I'm Hustling sweater
This guy dressed as a piece of paper for Halloween, I felt it was only necessary to sign his penis
Pagan metal show. There is a folk dance happening in the mosh pit. Also, I have no idea where we are.
You were laying in a hotel bed drinking beer from a straw while you demanded everyone to kiss your foot tattoo.
Happy 4th. Did you guys get your syphilis thing taken care of?
I'm pretty sure that my eyebrow is going to be swollen from a sex injury tomorrow and possibly a black eye. If it forms that way it wiil be the second time. Different eyeball. Different decade.
I'm taking the day off so I can get drunk at Whole Foods before noon
Just to clear things up, yes you did lick the strippers butt
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