Well we can cross off dogs, dating sites, and real life as ways to help you meet a chick.
i rewarded my self with tacobell for not throwing up on any one. MISTAKE
you should have seen his reaction to my boobs, it was like he just met god
Nobody has ever asked me for my honest opinion on whether they needed anal bleaching before
Woke up with his dick on the side of my face, it's like he passed out mid-mushroom stamp.
at least you know where his tattoos end, so it wasn't a complete waste of time.
in case you were wondering, even a BJ under a blanket on the back of a bus only lifts a 14-hour bus ride to borderline tolerable.
and i do believe that will be the last time you send me a photograph of our mother in her underwear.
She'll feel so accomplished if she finally gets to bang me.
bitch dont make me pour hotsauce in your vagina
Sometimes a man just deserves to get woken up with a blowjob.
It was a fun night! I woke up with a boyfriend, again....
I'm covered in glow paint and shame. I'm never leaving this country
He drove me to my therapist appointment because I was too drunk to drive. Total keeper.
welp, we watched the human centipede high last night and my mind literally shut down, when i came to all i could hear was mel saying EAT EAT HIS SHIT
Randomize
