morning outfit: hottub soaked skirt. no underwear. someone's bandanna worn as a shirt. took me an hour to walk home. this isn't fun anymore.
i went to throw her on my bed and threw her straight in to my bike
I've come to realize time passes slowest when I'm sitting in class, waiting for microwavable foods, working out, & giving head.
please promise me that no matter what happens you will keep me away from the children
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
In either case, seeing now as it's basically two couples, unless we're planning to have a good old fashion orgy I think this isn't going to work out so well.
2 things: 1) can you get hep from toilet water? And 2) do you know where we can get a new skillet for cheap?
Please tell me those aren't related.
I made rice.
Happy Birhtday!
Dad, it's 3am and it's not my birthday... wherever you are, go home
My bar tender texts me around 5ish and ask what I feel like, so it's ready for me when I get home. All star service.
Dude. You are the LAST person that should live above a bar.
You came down the stairs dressed as winnie the pooh and kicking cups off the table and out of people's hands
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
When she tells her friend, "hey I'll be back tomorrow, just going to fuck a guy", right in front of you, you know you've got a winner.
Take off your clothes and see if he wants to have sex, that's a good way to find out
Well, I'm most mad that he lied to you (about being married)...but the CAT THING IS A CLOSE SECOND
He just showed up in boxer briefs and loafers with only his phone and condoms
she said she doesn't remember seeing me at all last night. ...I was with her for six hours, there's no way she could have been blackout the whole time
So I took my bra off and threw it in the bushes before we went to the bars..
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