You know your from las vegas when the girl on the stage in the strip club was in my US gov class senior year
Dude has a bag of wine attached to his belt. These guys don't fuck around.
he got a rim job in the basement.
apparently i was the one who gave it to him.
im actually so stoned and hungover i feel like a bag of jello stuffed into a human shape
the manly guy you want to date so badly? he's at the club. as a drag queen. wearing higher heels than you own. think about that.
You should photoshop their heads on tigers first!!
For my parents' annivery card? How high are you?
The extent of "getting it in" was this creepy guy sticking his finger in my bellybutton
And then I cried about the Cubs for a half hour. If my dignity hadn't already been lost by that point in the night, it sure as hell was then.
why does CNN give a flying $@*# about the royal baby so, so much?
i hope they name him Joffrey
My soul is telling me that I need to take this exam naked.
Definitely accidentally brought drugs into Disneyland. Considering using them.
I remember yelling at him telling him that the strippers were "nice people."
How is it that 364 days a year I'm the adult, but on Halloween you completely forget how to have fun and become my grandma?
Why did I wake up naked with a leg cramp and and extra $550 in my wallet?
Want to have dinner and we can talk about how my vagina can make you feel better?
Randomize