That girl really should ne nicer to her vagina. It's not a playground.
Apparently hers is a theme park.
i think i just saw hanson at the grocery store. one might have been a girl. hard to tell. lets call that one taylor.
i guess you could say your face is two degrees of separation from my balls
Either way I should probably pregame on the plane
Contrary to what peaches says, you can't fuck the pain away. Full story later. Have a good morning, buddy.
We're trying to decide between cracker barrel an the ER
On 3 separate occasions, she grabbed my bullhorn to announce to the entire party she had fucked me.
just to let you know its hard to talk to your father while being fingered up against a car..
Just made nicotine water. Ithink i'm having a heart attack.
I vaguely remember having a cowboy explain his belt buckle to me in the bathroom hallway
There's a naked man in my car right now.
HEY. NO. THIS IS ABOUT YOU RIGHT NOW. YOUR COCK, MY MOUTH, THATS IT.
My boobs keep hanging out of this shirt. I think thats the style I'm going for tonight
I have this theory that your highest awareness of how drunk you are is while you're sitting on a toilet
I didn't have anyone to cheers so I tapped my beer on your fish tank... a little too hard
Randomize
