we were exchanging secrets last night... she told me about how she put markers in her vaj in middle school. found a keeper.
Apparently I think casual Friday means I can show up unshaven in yesterday's clothes and reeking of booze.
I fucked her to her "thinking of him" playlist. Sucks to be that guy haha
i just realized why god gave us younger siblings....to DD for us when we come home for the summers
I think being a buddhist has made me a better drunk
Fuck men. I'm going to go eat a package of cookie dough and get fat. I hope I die of salmonella.
there may or may not be knives in your bed. I would check
She's a virgin AND a minister's daughter. We're one schoolgirl outfit from the dear penthouse trifecta
that wasn't rum that I poured down your throat while you were sleeping
What's great about college is that i can eat chocolate cereal for every meal and call it a money saving technique.
Yo, I can't just ask my mom where she relocated my vibrator to, can I?
Other than my penis smelling like an ashtray, it went really well.
but how can he casually chat with my father 8 hours after asking me if i'm a screamer
I bought 10 disposable adhesive bras and duct tape. If Home Depot can't help my breasts defy gravity, nothing will...
LMAO
It's not a hangover, it's "slept on a couch with another person and said person moves a lot and is loud"
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