it felt like the flash was giving me a handjob
I just read the lonely terrorist on nwa had 40 more friends than me on facebook
my professor just said "the power of the situation"
drink
all i seem to do anymore is lay around stoned, naked and eating mangoes
Just so you know I would totally fuck you. Does that count as a feeling?
just tell her a well fed dog doesnt stray far from the porch, and if that doesnt work just keep fucking her sisters
Kegger tonight. 10pm. $5 coverfor unlimited booze. Proceeds benefit nuns from Uganda. Bring friends. No shit.
Great I'll forever be branded as gym slut at the new gym.
Have you asked your drug dealer if he wants to see harry potter with you?
Thanks, college. Tonight's decisions brought to you by margs in a nalgene.
After you bought Jesus' name tag off him at the Mexican restaurant you commenced to stumbling around the lobby showing anybody who would listen what would Jesus do.
Stop giving me tequila.
I can't find a song to express how gay I'm feeling.
I'm slacking. We've been hooking up for months and I have yet to bang him while he's wearing the clown mask.
He told me he was my brother roommate in college after we fucked, but already knew that so I had pretend I didn't know that.. like how I pretended I finished. 2/10
I'm pretty sure that waking up butt ass naked with a bottle of 151 and a note that said "I didn't want to wake you up, but thanks" proves I had a good time....god bless America
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