Whatever. They have the same name, so it's not even cheating. It's brand loyalty.
I take no responsibility of who alcohol hooks up with using my body!
We had one of those mutual "I know your on a dating website, I won't tell if you won't" glances.
I'm wearing an NBA shooting sleeve while jerking off...and yes my arm has stayed warm
So, i took all the condoms from his nightstand, not in the crazy ex way, but in the I paid for them way.
Not only was there cake on the wall but someone shoved cake and meat in a cup and put it in the fridge.
I just sent her mug shot out in a mass text because I hate her and her cocaine eyes are hilarious.
I'm at about main and main street
I never actually go in the club. I get in line, hit on a chick, and convince her to come drink all she wants for free at my house.
YOU DONT EAT A GIRL OUT AND THEN GO PUKE ASSHOLE
Idk I'm drinking Sam Adams and wearing new balances so I'm basically a dad
i just realized I haven't been laid all summer. So sad. What a waste of a perfectly good vagina.
STOP GETTING GIRLS PREGNANT IN MY BED.
What's rude is him not accepting my blowjob offer. What kind of guy denies that.
We couldn't leave for the bar until he spent 10 minutes adjusting his vaporizer. I want to drown him in beard oil.
Randomize
