Free body shot off of Sarah. Expires never.
they told me her nickname is "wizard sleeve"
pick me up NOW
recycled a plan b box. kill a baby. save a tree.
Level of drunkenness: just now when I sat down on the toilet, I had to double check to make sure I wasn't sitting on somebody's lap.
She grabbed both of our dicks in the pool then said repeatedly, "this is my dream, this is my dream,"
I can feel the judgmental stares of Christians from around the world right now.
Suppose hypothetically u received a request for face time communication with a gentleman who looked astonishingly like a penis. Would you indulge him in conversation? Hypothetically of course.
I mean.. listen to "Put It In My Mouth" and you'll get the gist of my voicemail for you.
i'll llet you know if at any point this night starts to make any sense
Also, since I switched back to this phone I've found a crop of dick pics and your funeral arrangements.
I woke up sick this morning, maybe sucking a random dudes finger at a bar last night wasn't that clean of an idea.....
The guy I'm talking to drunk texted me his essay last night and he asked me to revise it
I'm just too horny to handle empty house
I may or may not have been feeling patriotic and banged Captain America in a closet. SPOILER ALERT: We broke his shield
Now I am free. And I want to go meet men. My phone deleted all my contacts, and I consider this to be a new beginning. With a new man in my phone book.
Randomize
