I almost hooked up with this girl last night. she had a tattoo of a cardinal next to her cooter. said it reminded her of her grandpa
my room smells like sperm. sweet.
but, i was nude. you really should respect my stupidity and delete them. please.
'Watching yourself cry on Photobooth' is the new 'watching yourself cry in the mirror.'
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
No, I'm a firm believer in "Swallow or it isn't love."
You tried to pay the bartender in graduation checks, I think you'll be fine in the real world.
We did lines off of a Whitney Houston CD case. That makes everything okay.
I realized I'm gonna have to fit cheating on my gf, sleeping with my gf and having dinner with her parents all into one Sunday evening
He tried to bang a 300 pounder last night. No joke. I shotgunned a tall boy in a bar cuz the bartender didn't crack the beer. Cant wait till Nashville.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The beer-amid has reached five feet. Caitlyn has a taser. GTG
It was a perpetual wrestle for who got to be on bottom. Laziest hookup ever.
The shit I just took was four, very distinct colors. Jager night was a success
Why do I think he'd like to keep my hair in a box?
You just managed to turn Doctor Seuss into a sext. I really like you now.
You were yelling at them from the passenger seat saying you wanted your chicken for free because they couldn't prove it was from kentucky
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