three guys just busted into my bio lecture, yelled "happy st. patrick's day!", downed jagerbombs, and left.
if you're passed out when i get there i get to wear your banana costume and do awful things to you
I feel I need to conquer him. He's six ft eight and 265lbs. Its like the mount Everest of sex.
Do you know how awkward it is to call the bar from last night and ask if they found my leggings?
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i have to go- we're throwing the dummy from the balcony again
You realize at the bar last night we blew on imaginary whistles like rose from titanic right?
was his dick as big as our hopes and dreams?
One of us will probably end up wearing nothing but glow/ neon body paint and a pair of water wings...
And I am in no way ashamed to say that it will most likely be me. I'm hoping for it actually.
I'm rearranging all my life goals to become a billionaire by 28 and batman by 30. Not kidding.
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Things are coming back to me in chunks. I vaguely remember signing a shirt that said 'I enjoy vagina'
I AM SO PROUD OF YOU
You know, we cock-blocked like 5 people last night. It's like we're her vagina goalies
I find him attractive in the absolute weirdest way. Like I need him to do my taxes, but I also feel like I should spill things on him to gain his attention and then lick it off to gain his affection.
STOP PUTTING BUTTER ON MY FUCKING CAT
He literally said, while inside me, "I would smack your ass but I don't want to wake my mom up". Amazing.
I'm not going out, it's sweat pants and gallon vodka night at my place and I'm the only one on the guest list.
This is because you lost at fooseball isn't it?
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