Dude I think you forgot how to talk last night. We kept asking if you wanted a condom and you just smiled and made weird noises...
I've been congratulating people on facebook about their forthcoming pregnancies. I can't wait to see how this plays out
Going to eat lunch. Bunch of people in church clothes, and we are hungover, wearing pajamas, and in real danger of puking on the floor. We're about to destroy the ambience of this joint.
Have u Seen that eharmony commercial where the guy goes " I don't know how I could love her anymore, but tomorrow I will'. Yeah that guy should kill himself
That's ok. I found a crab leg in my bed and have no pants on.
i woke up next to the toilet with a chipped tooth, somebody elses shirt on, and a random guys id in my pocket
I dare you try and top an Eiffel tower full of Margarita
He said he only likes girls with a sense of humor, after he took his pants off I understood why
Dude if it is ever said "everybody get inside the police helicopter just showed up.". That means it was a successful party.
I got head this morning from the 31-year-old version of Jenn. It was like a blow job from the future while a simultaneous blast from the past for 10 minutes.
Next time a party gets busted lets get a group photo first.
If there's one thing I learned yesterday, it's that if I really wanted to I could be mayor of Toronto.
Not all of us can be into hot dads. Some of us have to have commitment issues and be into musicians.
we have beer and we're watching the birds have sex in our yard.
I Projectile vomited a massive question mark on Brent's bedroom wall. Don't tell him it was me. I want him to play the whodunit game.
Randomize
