Let's just say there is a bloody hand print above my bed and it's not mine. Literally.
just credit carded her and her mom at the same time... that drunk. get on my level
He tried to say the picture wasn't him. Like I'd forget his curved boner.
I'll just get wasted and start throwing myself at men. Someone's bound to take the bait
I hope he didn't notice that my shirt was inside out when I told him I didn't have sex with the guy. Kind of a dead giveaway.
I dont know how to respond to your rave picture. I mean yeah, he's hot, but it just seems wrong to be like "Please tell me you fucked that guy with the pacifier!"
U should just post that picture of u two on facebook with the caption, does anyone know this girl? If so please tell her to take plan b, thanks
Well I consider my vagina a dear friend. She treats me good I treat her good. We work together. Glad we could be of service.
Noo.... Like in the attic of a crack house with nitrous and fat chicks weird....
Emoji's do wonders when you actually have nothing at all to say..
I think it's a scientific achievement that I can make jelly that is 95% vodka so suck it up.
So we were fooling around last night and suddenly Like A Virgin popped up on his itunes
OMG haha What did he say?
He told me that if I laughed, I would have to leave.
the sex got boring after the first three hours
holy shit
He's UNCIRCUMCISED. And it curves. Two things I've never encountered in all my sluttiness and they're both on the hottest guy alive. :(
Last night you were throwing up in my toilet singing "all by myself."
Randomize
