He measures volume by how much weed he can put in it and surface area by how many people can have sex in it.
She said my main job as maid of honor is to ensure the groom doesn't find out that each of his seven groomsmen has had his penis inside her.
i have a wrist watched drawn on my wrist that it says shot o clock
I'm functioning at the level of a challenged walrus.
there are ass prints on the hood of my car.
Hey history final, how's it feel to be raped in the ass by my steel cock of ACADEMIC PERFECTION?
you are way too vulgar to be a girl
How do I feel about a girl who has a g string tattooed on
I better not get a vid of you penile helicoptering
So last night was the first of "I got cut off before I walked in the bar".
I think we've gotten passed awkward... the day I woke up at the palms and ur getting eaten out by the dude who just fucked me on the balcony.
I wish I were single again so I could actually have sex.
I accidentally sent my dad a very explicit Star Wars fanfiction and he replied with "That was great!"
My aunt just dropped me off at the bar, handed me $50 and told me she'd pick me up later if I needed her to. I should've gotten my license suspended a long ass time ago lol
Your dick is the only reason I have motivation to come back to school today
YOU ATE THE FUCKING GOLDFISH!?
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