I just got sparklers from my secret santa. Drunken sledding just got to a whole new level of dangerous
I wish sober me loved running as much as drunk me...
So my prents justed posted "DO NOT DISTURB" on facebook and i just heard their door shut and lock...I'm leaving
If I had known I was gonna take my tights off and throw them over the balcony I would have shaved my legs.
There comes a time in every girls life when she must use her boobs for good instead of evil.
Your pregnant arnt you
she is using a fork to eat popcorn and refuses to drink gatorade out of anything but a margarita glass... did i mention the popcorn is on a plate?
I remember coming home with a cat... I havent seen it all day. Shit.
I may have broken a few toes and my face hurts. I do know that I pissed the bed so at least I've got some closure there
I think that was him coming out to me. I just brushed it off
I shaved my legs and got a bikini wax, I don't care what I take home as long as it has a penis
The bong is packed and it's taco Tuesday come over
It's gotten to the point where waking up in my own apartment is a surprise
I will 100% jerk off using my own tears as lube before I'd ever bang a 4.
There I was, puking into the toilet, and he was rubbing my feet, buck naked. I feel like a drunk Disney princess.
No i dont need a babysitter i have my cats. Cats can dial 911 ya know
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