Being alone has allowed me to flourish into a complete weirdo
I'm pretty sure that he just gave me the ginger disease
You should see what I'm doing to your stuffed animals
okay im going to go eat, shower and find underwear... call if you want.... but ill be listenig to glee VERY loudly.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just jerked off and used a stopwatch to track my results. Pretty depressing on multiple fronts.
How do you get mayonnaise out of... well jesus it's everywhere, let's start with carpets
Your cum is still running out of me. I pity the next person that tries these jeans on....
Warning: at some point today you will probably see several pics of me 69-ing a blow up turtle show up on facebook. Just disregard them.
we should look into getting a golf cart for the weekend. i have a feeling legs wont be a sufficient source of transportation.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You know those twins i had a crush on in grade school? Just woke up between them. Best. Party. EVER.
Then, right before he came he said "I want to buy you so many things!" What the fuck?!
Nothing more awkward that being butt ass naked in a guys bed and his ex wife shows up with his kid....
not sure if actually covered in glitter or just drunk
I don't trust my subconscious. It sleeps with my exboyfriend sometimes.
i forgot how loud opening a beer is in a house where your not allowed to drink
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