Dub. In the bra. Dub in the bra.
I wish everyone walked around campus with a video of what they did this weekend above their heads.
Married on the beach in PCB while blackout drunk. Bonged beers on the sandbar for a bachelor party. They shotgunned beers at the end of the vows. How is spring break allowed to happen?
I just watched her pee in a trashcan, im still probably going to fuck her, what does that say about my standards
if i find out your the one who pierced my belly button im going to fuck your sister again
if I'm at school tomorrow just indulge my moment of pity and let me cry on your shoulder
So I got drunk last night and attempted to shave a landing strip on my vag. I now have a 8 lane highway on my crotch now. Just looks like a random ass square.
She pulled me up to my feet by my hair. I thought it was you for a second. My drunken angel savior.
We are such grown women, dealing with life's problems one shower beer and reckless makeout session at a time.
I'm about to make existential crisis tacos.
It was a recodring of you having sex ! It was like an ape and a dying mongoose at a buffet Xoxoxo
Now i know i wasnt that drunk... So why are there texts of me volunteering for a nude photo shoot for an art major student?
at this point, i'm only going to therapy to get more free condoms
I’m inviting a few of my favorite manwhores to a pool party. Bring booze and wear your banana hammock so Amy can see what I’m always talking about
Reverse road head. Sa-witch!!!
Randomize
