come over anyways, right now, right this second
it can be a super quick quicky, then you can go back to studying
wow, that sounds SO fun, please stop enticing me with premature ejaculation
Lauren will drop me off I'll be drunk ride you for a little bit and then you can go to sleep
sorry. that wasn't for you
I really hope you aren't where I think you are. Dude she has a MUSTACHE. You need Jesus..
I'm also glad were at the point in our friendship where my vagina talking to you isn't weird
I'd like to be considered more than just his fuck buddy thanks. IVE BEEN RISKING PREGNANCY FOR SEVEN GODDAMN MONTHS I DESERVE THE TITLE OF GIRLFRIEND
So roofie roulette was a success but I'm a little worried that the 2 who got the tainted beer still haven't contacted anyone...
putting weed in the twinkies box was possibly the best idea you've ever had
This is one of those moments when you do what I say or I come stalk you down like a gazelle.
I used to be terrified of what was under your bed until I passed out there last night. Now it just feels like home.
When were you at my house?
I don't understand or I understand perfect - if were not talking about fried chicken I'm not sure what's happening.
Direct quote from her that tipped me off I was getting some: "I want to jump on his shoulders and wrap my legs around his face"
I think I almost ran over some kid I went to high school with. Guilt factor: moderate to low.
Tomorrow is my bachelor party. If I die tomorrow, please know I graded you a "check" as a sister. "Check-minus" when you got mouthy.
I woke up in the middle of the night with my dick out and my electric blanket on high. It's like she wanted a hot dog.
So, is Canada considered an excessive distance to go for a booty call? Asking for a friend...
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