You don't need id to drink rum in an alley.
new midget porn idea. Wizard of Jizz: Munchkins Revenge
You filled up my voicemail with a slurred but graphic depiction of how you were humping a fire hydrant.
Sometimes one must go to great lengths and make great sacrifices to get drunk. I willingly accept the challenge.
Her boyfriend only talks to me because I know her period schedule
I've decided to dedicate my life to finding out which flavor of Gatorade tastes best after you brush your teeth
Its not like i paid for sex. She was stuck there, we simply exchanged rides.
I've never seen an uncircumcised penis. I mean in person. I've clearly seen an uncircumcised penis. I have the google.
i want to shrink myself down to penis size, climb inside of her pussy and just live there for a few months.
He sent me a 2am email the just said "Ping". Nerdiest booty call ever.
Would I be a horrible mom if I got a babysitter at 6am so I could go get laid.
I was supremely disappointed in the lack of dick and doughnuts in my life last week.
I LACK THE NECESSARY BRAIN FUNCTIONS TO BE ABLE TO PROPERLY RESPOND TO THAT
I promise your sink was clogged before I threw up in it.
Long story short wrist restraints, Apple Watch and cumming all don’t mix
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