Denial is the first step to alcoholism…and I don't hate it
So pretty much, I was trying to piece last night together and remembered a point where I was pointing to you heart then touching your face. I'm not sure that I ever translated that to "I like your personality better than your looks" but that's what I meant
Black out sex on the trampoline? yes please.
Hey man, did I leave the bottom drawer to my refrigerator that I had beer in at your house by any chance?
I froze in his sixty one degree room but i came so hard. Like fucking the eskimo god.
He was the only guy who ever made me cry..
Who, the park ranger who made you dump out your beer on the beach?
I was thinking that, but I'm not sure the proper etiquette on asking about someone's nipple rings. Even if you did see them and compliment them once.
Ask him to get me chedder bratwurst instead of the molly
Unless if you guys already left. Then I want the molly
Had to sacrifice my vibrator batteries to the thermostat gods. I had a dirty dream and also almost a heat stroke.
My TA is here with a sombrero and an entire bottle of Svedka. Skip jury duty.
Tell him to put up or shut up. Can't be dangling dick in front of ho's without delivering.
It's just disrespectful
He left a fire sauce packet from taco bell that said "promise you'll text me in the morning" on my nightstand.
I don't know why, but whenever I shave my balls I feel more aerodynamic.
I fucked a 6 foot tall guy who has abs showing without even flexing... I am a wizard and I have magical powers.
Heels with jeans turned Casual Friday into Casual Sex With My Boss Friday
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