Update from family reunion: my aunt Janet once got her legs stuck behind her head. The fire department had to be called.
my brother wants to know why there are wet balloons in his bed and i think you forgot to throw the condoms away but im too hungover to check if thats what hes talking about
The more I look at him the more I wonder why anyone would ever want any of his features to be a part of their childs face.
hey girl hope you're alright, you hit that tree really hard. have a good night.
You know, I never expected to find myself with a roommate who I'd have to ask not to have sex while I'm in the room. And yet, here we are.
I got to find out the airplane alcohol limit, and somehow I made it through the flight.
hanging out with you guys is like living the wikipedia entry for drugs...not sure i can handle that tonight.
I left a care package of Jack Daniel's, pancake mix and porn in your apartment. Merry fucking Christmas.
it's gotten to the point where there are no existing good choices. even our good choices are bad choice by anyone's standards but ours.
You left your underwear in a sandwich bag on my kitchen counter.
How the fuck can he download so much porn but not know how to find the Skype app?
He's standing in the corner rubbing his nipples and reflecting on poor life choices
i sent him a nude and he responded 6 hours later
what did he say?
"oh m god,,, whow '!!!!nm"
Lol it's kinda hilarious. I left missing one glass... guage. I feel like Cinderella... but less classy.
No I come to this class stoned every week. Except last week when I was drinking in class
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