you shoved the noah's ark of animal crakers in your mouth saturday.
I promise you 4 toothbrushes taped together and lube does not do the trick
Any girl that compares her vag to a hot ham sandwich is beyond a slut
She wanted to watch a Baby Einstein DVD while we fucked. I'm pretty open minded but that felt a little creepy.
you need to leave class get on facebook and start untagging IMMEDIATELY
Oh my god my life; so much cake and so little sex
I'm pretty sure they had a hash wedding cake. I love college weddings.
You always have that cute deer in the headlights look. Thats what made showing you my penis for the first time so disconcerting.
I think your dick broke my retainer, I normally wouldnt care but my orthodontist died and I don't want my first appt to be blow job broken retainer with a new ortho.
which one of you assholes put my new jeans down the garbage disposal?!
Saying I've had more balls in my mouth than you is the last clear, coherent thing I remember.
Whenever someone tells me they've never met a bisexual, I feel like a majestic fucking unicorn.
he just ran into my room in his giant penis costume yelling "supercock to the rescue"... I am still in total shock
Also fucking you night and morning and then serving your parents breakfast is a bit awkward. And funny. To me.
I just woke up in a prom dress on your bathroom floor, yea I'm 32.
Randomize
