Wow so 15 missed calls, a vm AND a text saying come downstairs? ...And where is downstairs? Explain.
He just asked me to come into his empty apartment after he called his parents to make sure they wouldn't come home while I was there. This is starting to look like a bad rape scene from one of those made-for-TV Lifetime movies.
we both passed out while playing beer pong, woke up in the morning and continued to play coffee pong to cure our hangovers
Would you still love me if I had no teeth
Yeah why?
Cuz i woke up this morning and a few are gone
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
twelve hours since my last beer and i just blew a .08, time to go to the library
It's my fault there's ramen coiled around his penis.
Everything that you guys said happened came back to me. like a tidal wave of regret.
She didn't need to know her brother was thrown out of a bar for getting head on the dance floor. You're a shit head.
SEXX, SEXX, SEXX,SEXX,SEX SEX SEXXXXXXX SEX SEX SEX SEX SEX SEX SEXSEXSEXSEXSEXSEX SEXSEXSEXSEXSEX.\nimagine that to the can can song. also come to my house. theres a dance routine.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
struggle bus is officially taking me on a road trip to hell. If this is just the first destination, I'll jump out the fucking window.
Long story short I'm making an I'm sorry card for a girl I dont remember having sex with
He won't have sex to beyonce. I hate him.
Whatever you have to do, STALL THEM. Your toothbrush is in the kitchen, my pants are on the balcony, and I don't have eyebrows.
I am literally so hung over that I just opened up my emergency kit, got out a survival meal replacement bar and ate it.
I did not marry a roomba.
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