seagrams + popov + pineapple + milk. there, ur search for worlds worst drink is over. you're welcome
This is much more drunk than i was intending for a wednesday
Stuck in the Dallas airport. At the bar. Everytime a flight to DC gets cancelled, I'm takin a shot. Fuck you snow.
Whoever decided putting Tom Seizmore and Heidi Fleiss together in rehab should win some kind of award.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I call it my summer of slut; except summer lasts from May until December. It's been incredibly successful
So apparently the only parts of last night I remember didn't actually happen.. When did vodka become a hallucinogen?
I was giving this guy head and he stopped me to look me in the eyes and say "you have a gift"
And now I have fucked a local celebrity so double free drinks at bars.
Hey, I'm renting a storage locker for the summer to keep all my bondage shit in so my parents don't see it. You wanna split on it for your all your weed shit?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
thought a girl was checking me out today. took me like 5 minutes to realize it was a mannequin
I made out with a dude last night who has an ex wife. Is this what post grad life is about?
Do you think dominoes pizza would deliver faster if I told them I just had shower sex and that always makes me hungry?
It's obvious you're hotter. You've been doing a married guy for almost 2 years.
Well now you know... If you can get over the awkward... The dick is 10 min away.
You really do take on your dog's personality she sounded like her pug breathing when we were going at it.
Randomize