There were 3 chicks in my bed I didn't know when I got home. Now I know all of them. Biblically.
so chris just stuck his hand between rachel's legs and yelled 'TROUT!' and we were like...you're wasted
My idea of sleeping together involves doing the Humpty Hump. Her idea of sleeping together focused more on being fully clothed on the opposite sides of a king sized bed.
the last girl i hooked up with and the last guy i hooked up with are hooking up right now. this is where bisexuality becomes a problem.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I sat in the mc D drive thru and refused to move till the chick gave me her number
She is the perfect woman. She cooks, gives good head and doesn't care that I have a small penis.
All I want is for every tall lanky young guy who is reading in a Starbucks to go balls deep in me. That's all.
my mom just said "if you had sex with someone you don't really like I'm going to be so mad at you" HOW DOES EVERYBODY KNOW
Seriously, I woke you up with tacos, I think I deserve the best girlfriend ever award
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
His name was Kyle but I insisted on calling him baby Jesus all night and then we did a line and he bought me Taco Bell so idk
ok so i got home drunk and was cleaning my kitchen and i was shaking out the throw rug and dropped it out the window, i'm sorry
For a girl who cried from fear the last time she was asked out, this. Is. TERRIFYING!
I feel like I should have held a press conference. The state of my vagina
Ur creepiness is now affecting my life and I'm not okay with it
The night went downhill somewhere between the time I was triple fisting smirnoff and when I was throwing up in the yard in nothing but my bra while he talk to me about mashed potatoes
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