i didnt know what to say other then wrong hole.....after that the moment was ruined.
i know he has to tuck it when he gets excited in public and all, but now he is just starting to show off.
I'm afraid my bank account can't handle syllabus week.
best line ever after sex today..."wow, that was a porn-star sized load"
I don`t remember Saturday, actually
Its ok, i dont remember 2007
Do you know how difficult it is to give head to someone who's imitating Forrest Gump?
Hypothetically going to the gym on coke was a good idea
You know when you meet a penis that looks like it was made out of all your hopes and dreams?
We need to drink more. Just think how awesome it would be to wake up in a trailer and NOT remember how wee got here.
This is what my life has come to. Like, I may or may not have just stolen pizza from the guy I just hooked up with's fridge when I left...
I hope you get some kind or rare disease that makes your dick ties itself in a knot for fucking her you lucky bastard.
I just used crown royal bags as pot holders...
I just KNEW this was gonna happen. NEVER say "all the free Jameson you can drink" around Tina.
I'm drunk eating a quesadilla while this kid is tryina come over and I'm just like no. I want the quesadilla.
He’s exactly what I’m looking for: he’s got a broken heart, a working penis and a new boat!!!
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