Di me a solid and hit me with your car.
I'm seriously so bored I'm seeing how many rooms I can masturbate in before I get caught.
Four. Poor grandma...
well after he sqeezed a zit off his forearm i got the hell outta there
i just looked at the calendar to see when spring break is and literally stopped eating
Talking about the game in the closet with a banana wearing sunglasses.
I started making breakfast to subdue the hangover and last of the shrooms and only got as far as eating a half frozen pierogi out of a dixie cup.
im sorry for trying to flush a roll of toilet paper down with my puke. probably not great for your toilet
You should really trust me on this one. "hit it and quit it" might not be the best career move on your part...
You see it tends to piss fathers off when they find their daughter in the arms of a shirtless guy that neither he nor his daughter knows.
I didn't want to fight, I just wanted to tell you to fuckoff.
The first thing you did was give us a tour of the house and showed us who was "on-limits" and "off-limits"
The lady at the front desk wished you a happy hangover.
Ever been to a strip club with one stripper? I have. And she sucked.
you don't need to worry about using proper grammar if you're asking for the size of his dick.
Congrats, you are the first person our bartender ever met that actually needed wheeled out of a bar in a wheelchair. He said you were his hero.
Randomize
