So I walked out of my room and there was my brother....standing naked
i think i may have caused an international incident at the french embassy, just fyi
hahaha how?
its a long story involving a horse trailer and some shrubbery
so I called to to smoke and you didn't pick up so I smoked and now I'm a race car
Everytime I walk into a bathroom at school that I've taken a pregnancy test in I get a little bit nostalgic....
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Although last time you were unsure about someone they flipped a golf cart on me.
His idea of romance is drunkenly leaving me dead dandelions on my car in the middle of the night
I don't even want to think about the kind of person who would shit in the street before 10pm on a Sunday.
Contents of my pockets this morning: phone, condom, one hoop earring, half a cheeseburger, lighter and a $87 receipt from tacobell. Time for work.
I was just hoping for a dick worthy of his established age.
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I renamed his cat Jeff last night. Well I spray painted it on him.
The hookup that almost was... Both partys too drunk to migrate to the other.... the universe has won this one.
Prerry sure I narrowly avoided being tazed by a swat cop last night... But on the up side, we found my purse.
I'm just concerned as to why his penis is two different colors.
Live it up bro, they're always so surprised to find out you use magnums, being such a tiny man and all. It's a good thing.
I seriously just rolled a joint on my high school diploma. I feel like I've come so far.
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