I just know... :) goodntight
Whoops, meant "goodnight", but the other is true too.
So after THIS dui, I've decided to stop driving. Not drinking, just quit driving.
I woke up to 30 angry texts and her Chihuahua in my room. Can you drop him off for me?
She asked me to facebook all the girls I'd hooked up with. She started crying when I started my search with A.
Well the party says they're going to have three kegs and four trampolines. I think I'm going to invite my EMT buddies just to be safe.
Chipotle...archenemy of the gay man. Cockblocking me since 1997
just passed out while on hold to see if i left my debit card at the bar last night.
Rolling one last joint on my Psych textbook before trading it in. I might actually cry.
I am so juiced up on period drugs and coffee I feel like my skin is going to fall off.
I can affiliate each flavor of Copenhagen to a different one night stand. I really love Texas.
I'm sitting here bra-less eating jalepeno candied bacon. You know you want this.
Coming.
Every now and then I'll meet one who is talented in the art of shower gymnast.
Like, what do you do with girlfriends? Buy her dinner and just like leave?
Did he at least walk u home
He offered. I dont like that shit. I want his dick not his presence on my walk home
Who's phone is in my pants and why did I wake up clutching a handle of vlad?
Randomize
