And my dad told him he was a great looking guy. and then added "no homo" after.
Unless I'm getting a singing midget telegram, I'm not going to smile
he was humming party in the usa while we were having sex.
i refuse to live in a world where loud threesomes in your own apartment are referred to as "rude"
did you yell "are you not entertained?"
Just watched a UNI fan at the bar lick the tears off of a KU fans face.. See what march madness does to people
I'm sure it was awkward. I've never had a professor expose parts of them to me before.
He just sent me a winky face in the middle of setting up a drug deal. You don't do that.
I shame-fucked to Hotel California, don't tell me about priorities.
Also what is the name of Americas thing where we had a holy obligation to expand westward? I'm going name my new lighter that.
He took off his priest costume and proceeded to dryhump the teletubby.
You went to the animal party as a hoodrat. You won the most creative costume contest.
As soon as the clock wound down to zero, she declared "HALF-TIME HEAD" and pulled down my pants. After the swallow, she said "BEER CHASER," got me a new one, and asked if she could make me a sandwich. Pretty sure she's lobbying hard for a ring.
I need an office. I have big plans. I'm learning spanish this month.
My joke about liking my coffee like I like my men IS ABOUT TO COME TRUE.
But at least i made friends with the nice lesbian cop. She knew i was her kind when she had to confiscate my rainbow/pride rolling papers.
Randomize
