Doo rag and shades in the bar. You are missing your future husband.
I wish everyone could be as happy as the people in the laxative commercials.
she literally pooped in the closet. i sent the picture to everyone i know.
I'm covered in egg mcmuffin wrappers and my room smells like dead hooker.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I have stripper ass cheeks all over my glasses
Look at my eyebrows in this pic! We deffo need to go back to that waxing place.
You have a cock in one hand and a shot in the other. Your eyebrows are not the topic in need of discussion.
Dad just showed up on someone else's golf cart, filled an ice chest with booze and left while yelling "SHINANIGANS!!!!" this is going no where fast.
Some girl just ordered Chinese delivery to her therapy appointment...
Just took an Adderall with Pedialyte so I think that's a valid answer to "how are you doing"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Update on my sex life: my calves are sore from masturbating too much. It's a thing. Look it up.
Oh man I knew I took that Molly too soon, talkin to some Scottish people lol but don’t like rollin in pizza restaurants.
Hooked up with another cop last night. Think I am renaming my vagina "dispatch"
Riddle me this: why did I wake up next to a stuffed sword fish?
Thanks for driving us home last night. Also, blanket apology for anything I may have said/done. I blacked out sometime near the t-shirt cape incident
It’s Sunday Funday! Stop watching football and bring your penis over here. There will be plenty of scoring!
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