You hurt me so bad and it feels so good
im about as happy as oj after his trial
Wydf in so deruk i just dowwned a packet if salt waitibg for food at del taco
Well yea but it's the principle of the thing.. The fact that he could actually BE your daddy
he's my ex-boyfriend's best friend... he tried to make out with me to prevent me from hitting his friend. then they almost fought about it.
teach me your ways.
Just had to buy plan b w/ my robotic baby from family living.. Awkward.
Listen I know you hate her for what she did but this is getting our of hand. Please please tell me where you hid her wedding dress.
Good news. I heard back from the doctor and I don't have a liver problem.
...yet.
Nothing says summer like lemonaid, but nothing says fuck yeah summer like lemonaid and vodkavodka
Oh my god. That was the best half-hour of my life that didn't involve genitals.
I'm honestly considering asking her if I can eat her out, as a friend.
He said I have a comfortable vagina. What does that even mean?
I knew you were cut off when you tried to order a "Phil Collins"
I mean I know I'll get over it by like tonight but ew ew eww. I cannot. Dude I don't even know his name also I threw up on his penis
Woke up. Found about 20 condoms upstairs. A hole in the couch. Bread on the floor. Going back to sleep.
Randomize
