He finally told me that he's married. I guess it doesn't really matter.
its like he missed a chap in the "being a guy" handbook and read the bible instead
I just packed a bowl in my room and use glad press n' seal to cover it so it wouldn't dump out in my pocket .
he had his head down and said he was listening for the buffalo, he had to still be drunk.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You threw a hot dog at his face...I wouldn't call you either.
im kinda looking forward to winter break. ive been away from home for so long i think i can trick my vagina into thinking that these arent the same people ive been hooking up with since high school...
Found crayons in my cigarette pack. I can't help but feel you may be responcible.
We're on a cock hunt. Everything is fair game.
Drunk on Tuesday. Double fisting. Mmmbop is playing. Only girl in the group. Life is complete.
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If your mother gets up on the bar again, I will. The bouncer already had a talk with her earlier.
one renamed every person in my phone 'I lpvw tewqils', so it would really help me out if you could text me your name. Happy sunday!
and then at some point during the night I ended up holding a baby
Why was a baby at a karaoke bar, and were you wasted?
only slightly. thats not the point. it was a cute baby.
Well someone is clearly not winning the parent of the year award here
Any sexual interaction is meaningless without pizza during half time.
friends who go to the bar together leave the bar together and im not leaving you behind ohana means family
My hands smell like vagina and ham.
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