okay, prove you're not drunk to me. write 5 true sentences about me with correct grammar.
I am sober. Because I don't drunk. It is bad. People die. I like Domenico because o he bag women what up?
My Adderall prescription says to take my recommended dose and throw away any leftover pills. Why don't more prescriptions come with jokes like this?
They left at like 4. I got up to help clean their house this morning and we found his pants. No ones heard from him, we're all a little scared.
he has this weird thing where he watches me pee
You just kept walking around in a circle saying "well played 6th street well played" before falling over.
Also.. The Hobbit does not look like a cartoon. We were just too fucking high.
On Friday, can we drink like its Civil Wars times and the doctor's coming to saw off our gangreen infected legs?
That's the only way to get approved without a guarantor.
WHAT DOES THAT MEAN WHAT FUCKING LANGUAGE ARE YOU SPEAKING
It's 10:15 on a Wednesday night and my dick is covered in pop rocks. How's your Wednesday going?
Gay?
German.
Pity.
I found a new button on my vibrator, tonight was a success
I may have just sent her dad a picture of my penis. His name's Myron, right?
He found out about your side hoe and still helped you try to find a lizard that got in the house
Tell me why i'm looking through my medical records and the last thing it said about my labor was 'vagina was explored'!?
I'm hungover from the 8pm vodka and still drunk from the 5am beer.
Randomize
