The only thing he got me during our relationship was a cum stain in my backseat. I choose winners.
I have a running excel spreadsheet detailing the number of shots in a night and subsequent ability to masturbate
He suggested abortion before I finished the sentence. That was my plan too, but now I feel like should keep it just to prove how big of a dick he is.
dude. this chick is staring at me like i gave her brother herpes.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I did, I'm just saying. Once the drinking starts my nipples are no longer my control.
OMG HIS EYES ARE POOLS OF SEX. HOT SEX.
You can kiss the security deposit goodbye after you and your boyfriend did donuts on his moped in the middle of the apartment. It was impressive since you were both too drunk to walk.
Serious question: does drunken cyber sex with a stranger on omegle count as cheating???
Holy fuck where did this cat tattoo on my ass come from
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He stopped mid thrust ... To check snap chat .. From his roomie
Do we have to do this party tonight? I'm worried my bed will miss me...
you should probably call the Bronx Zoo in the morning to formally apologize
its the right thing to do
His beard looks like it smells like beer, cocaine and old pussy juice
WAIT this kid is eating yogurt with a fucking ladle. what is happening?
Tequila shots and throwing it at a bell.
This is dumb. I'll keep doing it.
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