Just saw a maroon grand am stop on my street, the driver opened the door, vomited, and then drove away like nothing happened. Been there, done that.
They're having chugging contests. With juice. Please get me out of Utah.
You kept saying "sir officer" which would have been polite and helped you if it wasn't a female. She was pissed.
I just had a flashback of 4:30am: me hugging the toilet bowl and you handing me a jar of pickles to open. There is something seriously wrong with us.
It's a 2 hour train ride a 7 in the morning, of course we're bringing alcohol
Dude that girl I hooked up with Tuesday is in lecture. I told her I was from the Dominican visiting my cousin and was leaving the next day. Hiding under my hood and hangover.
I can't even tell you how many rave sticks I tore apart with my teeth last night.
One huge ass giant mistake followed by celebatory shots and coors lights thats my day in a nut shell
There's a time and a place for everything. Except for getting wasted at a work event, puking in the parking lot, and sleeping in your car overnight.
We watched the first ever season of SNL and fucked for so long. He accidentally punched me in the face, but I mean, John Belushi was the background noise of our sex. I can deal with it.
Oh my god and he smells like heaven wrapped in a beard of knowledge
I kind of really want to call off the engagement but I kind of need his mom's mashed potatoes on thanksgiving so I'm between a rock & a hard place here
can we fuck so we can live up to our nicknames for eachother?
I'm cuddly bitch. Deal with it.
Laying in bed naked is fun. I now see why guys love boobs... They're sooo bouncy! This long distance relationship is really killing my sex life.
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