Afterall, it is the real San Francisco treat
Just come over and take your pants off. 35 mins tops. You'll be home before midnight cinderella
this mix will be the most desperate cry for affection in the history of itunes.
When I was with my girlfriend I was averaging 1 random hookup a week. In the 2 months I've been single I haven't got any. I think I need her back.
I kept grabbing at Stephanie's boobs because I thought the leopard spots on her dress were popcorn.
her cat was choking so she kept trying to stick her finger in her cat's mouth while saying "it's okay kitty, just do what mommy does"
Honestly, I don't care if the only reason she gave me her beer was because she was bisexual and wanted to touch my vagina. Beer is beer.
i will be the first lesbian to ever fail women's studies.
I woke up five hours later with a mouthful of Jimmy John's while clinging to my sandwich.
He walked up to anal ring toss like he was going to win you a teddy bear
Yup, two strangers look up at each other and realize the only connection they have is the dead woman they banged to death below them. Magic. They have to be best friends now.
How do you politely tell a guy that you only kissed him so he would shut the fuck up?
Just did body shot off a midget. Pretty good start.
Sorry for peeing on you and your bed last night.
I just licked honey off my own tit. Is there anything about that which doesn't SCREAM single???
Randomize
