just to let you know I saw you texting some Kim chick, and facebook saying she's ugly... good job you're gay now
Dude, hurry and get over. I need a wingman. She is on her 6th vodka shot and her resident ugly friend is still sober
I took an adderall but just ended up meticulously arranging my farmville for hours
my underwear are soaked with white zifandel yet i have continued to wear them despite the fact im at home
sometimes i think what itd be like to be a firework
It was kind of like a train wreck, except alcohol would have improved the situation greatly.
How do I politely say my vagina is not a chew toy and if you bite me again I will slap you?
You could say take it easy, whoa there, be gentle, anything that doesn't fully convey the horror.
The way I see it, everyone on campus has a fake, but I'm the only person who actually makes beer in their dorm.
Besides. I don't even really like sex because it feels great. I like it because for thirty minutes I own that guys ass.
WTF DUDE?
Stay calm. I'm sure there's a heterosexual explanation for this
Apparently there's nothing on sonza for "giving a handjob while sunbathing"
Yes, let me tell you about the time I was forcibly locked in a bathroom when my ex-girlfriend was having a bad shroom trip.
It's like an adderall Houdini. Right when you think you have a deal he disappears
There is a special place in hell for people who only eat the center of the pot brownies.
My new superpower is making fuckboys disappear!
Bending dicks and egos since 2002
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