Im wearin a dollar bill hat and tgkin a big girl home. Lifi is gmwnd
her vagina probably looks like a grenade went off in a deli
we went through the mcdonalds drive through and you asked for a free sample of their fries to see how you liked them.
Just bonged a beer from a vuvuzela...this place is only doing good for me
Just when I think I'm the one with the problem, I get home for the holidays and the family shows me what alcoholism is really about
surprisingly organic peanut butter is not the best chaser
True that.. I am going to ride a gold plated unicorn across a field of cocaine and coach purses when I graduate.
That was beautiful.
Literally just napped at strip club. Don't know how long
I think my nap took me to another dimension
While he was at a job interview yesterday, I was dropping acid. So that's the aesthetic of our relationship rn.
It's not "nice." It's the supermodel of dicks.
Wasted. And I have 5 pounds of potatoes that I'm responsible for.
I can't believe just smoked out of a pear
I can't believe you had a pear already made to smoke out of, that was impressive
I just don’t understand what sort of USPS worker wants to take my unitard and sex toys.
On the brightside we know now that empty pringle cans are accepted at mcdonalds as cups.... Screw people who judged us, we saved a buck
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