I want a vodka facial right about now. I'm talking about straight vodka bukkake
whiskey dick. though we did manage to break my closet door and flood the bathroom.
I was the last girl at the bar last night. It was like a battle royale between 10 guys.
oh, you know. just sitting in my bed high as fuck wearing a windbreaker and watching british tv.
You should never talk to him again. Unless its you knocking on the door and punching his dick.
I'm not really sure what went on in my mouth last night but right now it tastes like what I can only imagine is a mixture of astroglide and peanut butter. You hungry?
the gays at disneyland are vicious
And I can feel feelings now and they hurt
Good news! I don't have Hep C! Better news! I still hate you!
If you haven't gone to the store yet. Can you PLEASE get me some clippers my balls will thank you later
Letting Freddy Krueger eat me out = HAPPY HALLOWEEN TO ME!!!
Well, you're 18 and dating a 28 year old. Who has a wife. Who isn't you. I would guess that's why your mom frowns upon the relationship.
Congrats on graduating and I'm in a cab and need someone to helps keeping me up, do you mind
She is 6 months pregnant and gets more action at bars than I do.
I figure blowing aggressively into a harmonica is better than screaming, "GET THE FUCK AWAY FROM ME YOU SOCIOPATHIC SUCCUBUS" to my sister, in the middle of an auditorium, during my mothers college graduation ceremony.
Randomize
