dude i just saw a drunk guy attempt to get by IUPD and throw a uprooted bleacher seat over the edge of the stadium. funniest thing of life.
details please.
they caught him 10 rows from the top. the first thing he said was "wait I can explain, i just have to throw this over first."
it got awkward when she realized that our nickname for her was "The Hambeast"
So you walked 4 miles to get home but stopped by the store first to get a vegetable tray? How drunk were you?
I have 20 seconds to get my life together and look presentable.
My roommate is watching gummy bears "race" from a mega-marshmallow to his lava lamp.
Dude he downed 9 shots of tequila, sang bohemian rhapsody with 3 randoms Wayne's world style, solo'd closing time, chased the hot bartender's dog all the way to main, tackled him, carried him back, hot bar tender hugged AND kissed him, then he does a jumping heel click and leaps into my car through the window. Next rounds free at the yeti. Needless to say your little brother is a tequila god.
Basically.
Please ask me to tell you about the time I watched two of my friends chase my drunk roommate with a broken foot around downtown
Going through my bras is like traveling back in time through my past hookups and relationships....
I'll text you later. I think she thinks we're taking this whole "no sex" thing seriously.
Pounded a bottle of Moscato in my underwear while watching Pretty Little Liars...am I really gonna be 30 next year?
I'm too high and old for this...
Chili is not acceptable fuck buddy food.
Bitch got stabbed in the eye. With a fork. Wait for it... At church. I was the only one at a party interested in her story. Only in the south
false alarm, still single
I just learned that the grill marks on a Burger King burger patty are actually previously burnt on there with a radioactive spray-on liquid and McDonald's french fries are actually 5% potato.
Randomize
