so... i had sex tonight
with a midget
nicccce tits for a little person
Laying in bed naked with the guy I just fucked, talking to his WIFE who's sitting across from us like we're having a fucking tea party. This is interesting.
I think I took your hangover as a birthday present
Do you ever think that bumblebee is the gay transformer?
Every day of my life.
tuesday night obama will do an address about the oil spill at 8... it'll only be about 15 minutes... but i think thats plenty of time for a drinking game. key words "oil" "bp" and "responsibility"?
Fuck yes. Let's make bingo cards.
Do you think the party boat will still go out if there is a hurricane?
He was probably pissed, but i couldn't tell for sure. How pissed can someone really look while holding a fishbowl mimosa?
Don't tell me wow. Tell me this is normal for college and in no way am I a whore.
All I did this weekend was get my life in order. I feel like I wasted my time.
How many times can I tell him I wasnt expecting sex before he realizes I'm just too lazy to shave all the time?
I threw all my money on the ground and said it was for homeless people and fell down the stairs
if you're not jumping for joy when you see penis then you're looking at the wrong ones.
i got kicked out of the casino for drunken disorderly conduct because i kept stumbling into old people and one of them told on me. as the boucer was taking down my information so i could no re-enter i ripped my id out of his hands while yelling fuck you.
So do I get points for screwing my recently single ex boyfriend and then telling him to go fight for his ex back?
At least they took the pillow of my bed before they had sex. My friends are so polite.
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