Sometimes I stick my finger in my own ass and pretend it’s a vagina. I think it’s kinda weird. What do you think?
I'm cleaning the house. And I can't stop listening to Enrique Iglesias. Am I gay?
I even have the new album if that helps you make a decision.
We simultaneously blacked out then simultaneously came to then simultaneously had sex with the neighbors. We're definitely meant to be roommates.
I'm going to get pregnant and die... Mean Girls warned me about this but I didn't listen
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Also, if you all get arrested i'm coming to laugh at you because i don't have the money for bail.
I deleted my history right in front of my girlfriend w/out her seeing. Let's go skydiving with no parachutes. I can live thru anything.
Can we please start going to the gym before I accidentally kill someone via explosive fat girl pants button accident
I see your creepy poodle photo and raise you a shirtless elderly gentleman who looks like a yetti in cutoffs who may or may not have an ENORMOUS erection.
.... touche....
He cannot be your sugar daddy. He looks like a literal hot dog.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I think it's important to not involve Bar Food in any near future decisions.
So if I run into you on the street, I'm supposed to just stop drop and suck your dick?
I really prefer to do my walks of shame in the summer
He also sent me nipple clamps because romance is NOT dead
I think my stomach is breaking up with me. It's giving me back everything I ever gave it.
I know you're having a really bad day and I'm a little to blame for that and I'm sorry. To make your day go better just try to imagine what people's fuck faces look like.
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