Seriously, it was like sucking my thumb.. and im not even saying that to be spiteful b/c he is a really nice guy.
She threw up everywhere and is crying about a fictional character who died on Grey's Anatomy
Just saw my father's penis. Don't know what to say.
I think he thought he was a gentleman because he bought me the most expensive plan b at cvs
This was my thought process as I drunkenly ran home: Whoa! I'm going so FAST! Why don't I run EVERYWHERE! ALL THE TIME! Then I peed in a bush and passed out on the ground.
So basically you were a dog.
They can be so fun, drunk bruises are like clues to the treasure of what actually happened last night. "why do I have a bruise on my belly button? oh right. i was trying to turn my stomach off so I would stop throwing up."
It's take your daughter to work day... I really shouldn't be here right now
I want a bunch of melted cheese. or a penis. or a penis covered in melted cheese
I don't think I can recall what a 23 year old cock felt like if one slapped me in the face.
I think you just have to raise your bang age from 40 to 50, hope dust doesn't fly out and make her say tony danza
My phone just said I texted someone at 430a and said let's fight. Then I texted them an hour later and said thanks.
No other way to put this but the dick was not worth him crying for an hour after. No more online hookups.
Afterwards he face timed like four of his friends screaming he banged the hot intern.
IT'S FUCKING BABY SEASON ON FACEBOOK. MY VAGINA WANTS TO THROW UP
I think I need practice at oral sex
I own a practice facility.
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