tell ils to like buy her flowers and like a balloon that says, sorry I tried to fuck your sister. I think hallmark makes some of those cards too.
Phease come get me i thought i was in a place i don't even understand
Don't know whats worst me sharding on her a bit or her believing me when i told her she did it...
I'm pretty sure she sent a group text out saying that I was the one to get with her last night and sorry to everyone who didnt make it.
Honestly it was an honor just to be nominated.
These 23 People Walked In On Someone And Saw Some Crazy Sh*t
he looked upset that i wasn't completely shaven. i reminded him he had begged. and beggars can't be choosers.
I really hope you aren't where I think you are. Dude she has a MUSTACHE. You need Jesus..
I offered to buy ihop waffles for all the homeless people outside the metro. It was time to go to bed.
I had to explain to my dentist that my tooth was chipped because we designated my mouth as the official way to open beer. I feel like our level of partying is no longer socially acceptable.
Out of desperation, I used the leftover sauce from my goat masala as a mixer for vodka shots.
Confessions From 23 People Who Have Been Hiding Terrible Secrets
I will never understand why the dress to get laid party is always scheduled to be during family weekend. Its not even ironically funny.
She left a blunt and poutine on my nightstand with a note saying "went to the gym. be ready for round three when I get back" I love Canadian chicks
He said he wanted to sit next to the fountain so he could "watch the water hit the other water".
The bump on my forehead, i think, was from falling asleep at front door, on my knees, slumped over. But we played good music so what?
I found an industrial strength sharpie in the drawer so I started writing BONER JAM 2014 on everyone's foreheads so they kicked me out
Is is gay if I donloaded Grinder to see if my roommate is gay?