Classy? Dude, she fucked 3 guys as part of a scavenger hunt
She's got an ass you could write the declaration of independence on in one line. Takes up three bar stools.
There's an amish chick decked out in amish clothes on a cell phone staring at me.
The bubbles in my bathtub are singing to me in german....
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Nope it's him. He's whispering to himself and buying asparagus.
the can pyramid on my head actually reached a decent height before I moved.
No mixer. Vodka in yogurt?
so does the 200 for rent and 150 for utilities include the never telling my boyfriend about the guys i bring home.. or is that extra?
OHMYGOD did I try to use pinesol as a mixer?
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I pulled my bra outta my purse. Covered in honey mustard. I still lack an explanation.
Lol okay. He's gonna show up with like a trunk of sex toys. He's like the mary poppins of hotel fucking.
Are you high?
The snorkel mask makes that pretty clear
I appear to have wine on my toes. I am really not clear as to how this happened. I'm gonna have a little lie down.
what better to celebrate not being pregnant than to eat a bowl full of rum soaked pineapples?
Just drink your champagne out of a trophy like a fuckin winner