awesome recipe for disaster- bar hopping at the airport
This was all being yelled across a beer pong table as all important things should be discussed
Hate sex is AWESOME! I faked it, and when she fell asleep i came in her purse.
she just gave me a present from you... on a stripper pole. in front of the whole club. :)
WHY ISNT THIS A PICTURE MESSAGE
Satisfying Perfect Camera Moments
I literally had to tap out of the blow job. It was like a pornographic wrestling match
As the night goes on these shots are getting so much easier. My liver jst needed a warmup lap.
Gonna send a picture of my negative pregnancy test with the message "Merry Christmas" to the guys I've been sleeping with. That alone, will put a huge dent in my shopping list of gifts for people.
they knew we were both to shy to do anything so they got us drunk and locked us in the back yard with a tent. it was fuck or freeze
you have the best friends
So a guy died and our dates revived him with CPR. Good night?
This Dog Travel Carrier is a Must
I could tell you were slightly drunk by the time you started having a conversation with my tiki torch
we got stoned then he started showing me how to make his penis look like a hamburger...if that's not true love idk what love is
You let someone poor beer into my mouth off of a balcony. Best friend test failed.
I'm glad you enjoyed the night but why were you calling me "daddy"?
Hypothetically speaking, at what point does fire become too much fire?
I just woke up butt-naked in bed with a guy I've never seen..I reached into my bag next to the bed to get my phone and found a bag of shrooms, a handle of vodka, and 600 dollars that I've never seen. what do I do