Just FYI I rubbed poison oak on all your sheets and blankets so we all will know who you hooked up with (in about a day)
it was worse than that time i tried giving evan head 4 days post nose job.
I just googled "semen solvent" and got nothing. there has to be something that will wash this shit off!
I see a marketing opportunity
apparently vodka and oj turns green when you throw it up
basic color theory
there was some random girl that nobody really knew, standing in the corner trying to shave her armpits with a plastic butter knife.
You went from loaded cattleman, to football player, to better football player, to art major from Missouri. Your future was looking so good for a while.
ive got a scarf tied around my face holding bags of hashbrowns to it, im too boss to care
so according the 72 facebook statuses i put up last night that i don't recall, i would say it was a success. how about you?
Your a horrible friend, i only tried to do the right thing by moving you off the floor.. that was not an invitation to puke all over my bed and attempt to use my dog to mop it up.
I am wrecking havoc on the skinny girls by going home with the big one. She is taking me to see her dog now.
yeah we're mixing orange juice, vodka, and rum and calling it Oj Simpson On Trial
He threw me over his shoulder and carried me outside, all the while drinking from the bottle of rum he was holding, while my ex watched. I'm winning the break-up.
I don't know if you've ever seen a group of 20 year olds reenact a rectal prolapse, but 'majestic' isn't really the word I'd use...
how come you came home with "Amanda owns this" written on your forhead
I want your cock. I also want to cuddle you and tell you how amazing you are, because you know balance.