So apparently when I roll on X I find 'dick ina box' not only hilarious but also sexually arousing.
He wanted a quickie. I said, can I play doodle jump on my iPhone during? And that's exactly how it went.
the cops didnt even say happy birthday to me :(
Just got my econometrics book in the mail and started flipping through it. Our Thursday parties may turn into u convincing me not to kill myself.
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It's officially time to start saving up weed money for the NCAA tournament
you kept shouting how the only tree you would hump is an elm tree because they're under populated
I told him i wanted to be exclusively cheating with him
Let's go free Charlie Sheen and party with him
so, are you laying bloody on campus somewhere or did you go out after class and forget to let me know?
bloody. ill be home soon.
25 Odd Things These Pathetic People Do For Enjoyment
you better take a shot tonight for every cat you have ever seen and wanted. this is a lot of cats.
Isn't it my whole life blown into this perfect spoon shaped piece of melted and artificially colored sand?
Ted is on HBO in 20 minutes...not sure if this or the drunken dance party I had at the bar to a N*SYNC Christmas song 20 minutes ago is the highlight of my week so far.
Oh my god I haven't had mozzarella sticks since I banged that Applebee's waiter
I'm still hammered too. I started tweeting the time at one point I'm pretty sure.
From the bottom of my heart, thanks for never sending me unsolicited dick picks.