it sounds like her vocal chords are covered in pudding and rocks. come get me.
Im so sleepy and hes snoring super loud! i just wanna suffocate him, sleep, and deal with the body when I wake up
she had the hairiest bush ive ever seen. it looked like a spoiled head of lettuce.
I just blindly shoved it in. I'm still not sure which hole I got.
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i just recognized the girl sitting across from me from a lesbian porno... should i ask for an autograph?
The best was having to tell my 16y/o cuz and her bf that we could see him fingering her in the inner tube. Lucky for them, I'm the cool cousin... and was river-level fuckedup.
Just saw a cougar do the walk of shame. She asked housekeeping where the fastest elevator was.
You can fuck me but I'm keeping my parka on.
We got to his house at 7am and two random guys were on the couch shot gunning beers saying we were late for the party
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It's like weed even makes my glasses better. Everything is so bright and clear and beautiful!
Is it bad that when someone says the phrase "helicopter dick" I immediately think of you?
It would be awesome if I knew whose teeth these were in my pocket
Snaps to my Ella Fitzgerald station for such a jazzy walk of shame
you left your anal beads in the dishwasher
The bar tender had his entire hand down your asscrack.
I forgot about that. I was in MULTIPLE dimensions.