SECOND walk of shame from the westside Hilton, SECOND foreign family w kids staring at me in my dress, glitter purse, spiky heels and booze breath. I said I was going to church. More confusion.
New high or new low? Cat walked into the bathroom while I was taking a #2, looked @ me, sneezed and walked out..
Why are we friends again?
Were taking his cast off tonite. Need a saw and a gameplan. Meet us at rosies in 30.
Casually brushing the Bacardi out of my hair. It's a good time to ponder regretting everything that happened last night.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
five cans of playdoh and a game of guess whose penis ...
I was worried he'd break you after the hiatus your lady parts had to take from social interaction.
When you and that girl went into the bedroom, you yelled "FOR NARNIA!"
I live vicariously through you. No one mistakes me for a hooker anymore. I look like a stay at home mom of three. On bad days of four.
25 likes of a picture on Instagram of my butthole. beat that.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just gave an orange Froot Loop the finger for falling on the floor instead of my mouth when I was pouring a mini box of cereal into my face.
"There should be some kind of award for sleeping with your ex 9 times in 3 days."
You know it was a weird night when you find curly fries in your purse the next morning...
yeah that bottle of rum is only the second thing I want that kid to be pulling out of his pants
I had a dream last night that I met Diplo. Now I'm just sad
Two of the boys I banged while living in that house are about to move into it hahhaaha
Randomize